A Dying Flame
by The biggest ikarishipping Fan
Summary: Because the sad truth was that even the man with the seemingly unbreakable persona was indeed breakable. Ikarishipping, angst-y towards the end. Prequel to "Ashes in the Snow".


**A Dying Flame**

**Summary:** Because the sad truth was that even the man with the seemingly unbreakable persona was indeed breakable. Ikarishipping! Prequel to "Ashes in the Snow". Angsty. Death scene.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**

"Are you ready yet?"

Dawn turned away from the mirror, brushing a strand of her blue hair away from her face as she turned to her best friend.

"Now I am."

Her and Paul didn't have the kind of relationship one would expect a couple to have.

He trained most of the time, she cheered for him when he battled and would scold him when he trained his pokémon too harshly. He helped her when she needed the help, but most of the time he was too focused on his own training to bother with hers. Nonetheless, he attended every contest she entered and gave her pep talks when her confidence was wavering.

Their "dates" usually consisted of quick walks in the park or a quick battle by the beach or lake. They rarely went on actual dinner dates or dances or planned dates. Every once in a while though, Dawn would drag him to do something he normally wouldn't waste his precious training time doing, like shopping in the Veilstone Mall or playing in the Game Corner.

Paul was a stoic, harsh trainer. She was a bubbly, outgoing coordinator. Nobody saw them getting together. Nobody saw them lasting. Nobody saw Paul proposing, and nobody definitely saw them getting married.

"Congratulations, man!" Paul glanced over his shoulder to cast an annoyed look at his best man who, as usual, had his pet Pikachu on his shoulder as he clapped Paul's back, his typical stupid grin on his face. "You too, Dawn!"

Dawn grinned as she latched herself to Paul's arm, her face practically glowing in happiness. "Thanks, Ash!"

Ash grinned, pleased by his friend's obvious happiness. Now if only Paul would look just as happy as she did. If only he would just _look_ at her.

As if reading his mind, Paul turned toward Dawn and she turned towards him, that smile still on her face. Ash watched as Dawn tugged his hand out of his pocket to hold it in her two hands.

"So, looking forward to the honeymoon?" Ash suggestively asked the couple, his chocolate-colored eyes meeting Paul's onyx-colored ones.

"Oh! It's gonna be great!" Dawn declared, her eyes shining brightly as she turned back to him. "We're going to the Orange Islands and then the Whirl Islands since there are strong pokémon there, you know? Paul can get some good training done there."

"Mhmmm, yeah, I went to those Islands before, they're great," he agreed. "They also have some great sights there too, like Pinkan Island."

"That's the first island we're visiting," she told him cheerfully.

"She wants to see the pink pokémon there," Paul explained, that same blank expression still on his face. It was a look of apparent disinterest that contrasted with the whole situation. Weren't _both_ the bride and groom supposed to be lovey-dovey and all into each other, not just the bride?

Years later, it would be that look Dawn would remember when she recalled her wedding day. It would be that look of disinterest and boredom she would remember, not all the other looks, that although similar, were completely different.

"That's nice of you, Paul, putting your wife and her wants before your desperate need to train," Ash teased. "You must really love her."

* * *

She had known Paul since she was ten. So of course when she got married to him at the young age of eighteen, and after almost a decade of knowing him, she didn't expect him to be the mushy gushy husband who went out and bought her roses or chocolates just because he felt like it. She expected him to spend most of his days, and sometimes even most of his nights, training his pokémon rather than spending time with her.

And she was perfectly fine with that. She was a coordinator, so she spent a lot of her time training also. She also had a job as a pokémon stylist on weekends, a job given to her on behalf of Paris and Hermione.

He had his training. She had her contests and job. She understood him and his ways, so she was perfectly happy with the way their marriage functioned, even if she only got taken out once a month for dinner if she was lucky.

But then everything changed when her friends got married.

Ash and Misty were the first of her friends to get married after hers and Paul's wedding. It was a small wedding, something they did on a whim. Ash proposed and a month or so later, boom, they were married.

She was twenty when that happened.

Next was May and Drew who had a grand springtime wedding which was filled with beautiful white gardens and porcelain fountains, and as a bonus for all the money spent on their wedding, were given an enchanting sunset.

By the time she was twenty-one Zoey and Kenny were married, and Ash and Misty were pregnant with their first child.

Dawn envied them.

It wasn't their weddings she envied though; nor did she envy their husbands or their happiness. She just envied the way Ash, Drew, and Kenny smiled at them, their wives, and the way they cared for them.

She envied the way their marriage functioned.

They got taken out on dates at least once a week; they always held hands or cuddled or made lovesick faces at each other or said "I loved you" to each other. They all did stuff her and Paul never did.

She thought she was happy with the way her marriage functioned.

But she was wrong…

* * *

"Torterra, use Leaf Storm followed by—"

"Paul!"

Paul turned around, the rest of his sentence lost from his mouth, as he heard his wife's loud shout. When he saw her standing only a few feet away, dressed in an ebony black spaghetti-strapped dress that reached just above her knees, grasping a matching clutch, he could just guess what was coming.

Inwardly he felt his stomach sink.

"You're taking me out to dinner tonight," she told him, a hand on her hips. It wasn't a question; it was a demand.

"Not tonight," he responded, turning away from her. "Torterra, Frenzy Plant followed by Leaf Storm!"

"No! We're going to dinner_ tonight_," she insisted. "We never go out to dinner together, so we're going out to the Seven Stars restaurant tonight."

Paul watched as Torterra obeyed his orders. He watched, almost as if hypnotized, as Torterra released a swirling cyclone of wind as the leaves on his back glowed green before lifting from his back and entering the cyclone. The cyclone whipped at his bangs and tugged at his sleeves and jackets. He was pleased as the ground was ripped apart as Torterra's spiky thorns tore through the ground and snapped a good-sized tree in half. Paul nodded, impressed by the power of the latter attack.

"Paul! Are you even listening to me?" Her voice was going high-pitch which meant she was starting to get upset. He sighed before turning around.

"I heard you," he responded. "And not tonight."

"Paul!"

"I'll take you out to dinner some other night, okay?" he said, starting to grow impatient with her. He turned back to Torterra but decided to wait for Dawn's response before ordering his next attack.

She was silent and when he turned around again he saw she was biting a trembling lower lip and her bangs were covering her eyes. Her arms folded tightly against her chest, she turned sharply around before finally biting out, "Fine!"

Paul sighed, rather tiredly, as he jogged after her and placed a stern hand on her shoulders which stopped her in her place.

"Quit being a brat," he told her, and she glared at him.

"I'm not being a _brat_," she insisted. "How am I being a brat just because I would like to go out to dinner for once with my _husband?_" she demanded, placing an emphasis on the last word, her wet eyes meeting his cold onyx eyes confidently.

"I'm busy right now. I'm training and it's going really well so far." Dawn opened her mouth, about to say something, but before she could, Paul cut her off. "I'll take you to dinner tomorrow."

She shut her mouth, searching his eyes as if to make sure he was sincere. "You better," she said finally. Her eyes dropped, and she sighed softly, a tired look suddenly repainting her features. "And no more excuses concerning your training."

Paul's eyes softened just a fraction as she said this. "I'll take you to dinner tomorrow," he repeated, if only to make it final.

"Hn," she grunted, her shoulders drooping.

"I need to get stronger, so I can finally defeat Cynthia," he told her, as if trying to make her understand.

"I know," she responded back tiredly. She knew just too well.

"And then I can become champion," he added. "The Champion of Sinnoh."

Despite the fact that he just blew off a date with her to train his pokémon, she couldn't help but let a small smile slide across her face as he said this.

Paul, the Champion of Sinnoh. It _was_ a nice thought.

Maybe when that happens he'll finally start spending more time with me, she thought, although she knew it was still highly unlikely.

Paul silently felt relieved as he watched the small smile slide over Dawn's face, despite the sad look still present in her eyes. He leaned forward, his hand moving from her shoulder to support her head as he allowed his lips to touch her forehead in a tender kiss.

"I will take you to dinner tomorrow," he promised one last time, and her smile widened as he said this, her heartbeat beating rapidly in her chest.

"Good," she said. "Now don't forget that promise, or else you're going to have to deal with a very angry wife tomorrow!" she threatened playfully, becoming more like her usual happy, outgoing self.

A small smile slid across his face as he turned away.

"I won't."

And he didn't.

But she found that not even one night with him was enough anymore.

* * *

"You have to be careful, Misty. Now that you're carrying our baby you can't be going around eating all this crazy stuff," Ash told his wife who rolled her eyes, having heard all this hundreds of times already.

Dawn just watched, a small smile curving her lips as she watched the two.

It was so sweet how Ash cared for her and the growing baby she was carrying.

"Ash, for the last time, eating jalapenos with chips and chocolate ice cream isn't 'crazy' or 'dangerous', okay," Misty told her overprotective husband. "I crave what I crave. I can't help it. I'm pregnant! We pregnant women get cravings, okay."

Ash shook his head, frowning. "It's just not right. Jalapenos and chocolate ice cream with chips? Even I wouldn't eat that!"

"Or so you say," Paul muttered from beside her. Ash turned towards him, his eyes narrowing. Dawn nudged him before slipping her arm around his.

"Paul…"

"It's true," he snorted back. "He eats like a bulldozer. Or a snorlax. You saw him at that all-you-can-eat buffet the other night."

"It was an all-you-can-eat buffet!" Ash retorted. "You're supposed to eat all you can eat!"

Paul rolled his eyes but chose not to say anything.

Ash turned back to Misty, his gaze softening as he watched her dip her Tostito chip into a bowl of chocolate ice cream that was mixed with jalapenos. Dawn cringed at the sight of the food and the thought of eating it, but her eyes remained dreamy as she watched Ash and Misty interact with each other, silently envying the two lovebirds.

Paul had agreed to come with her to visit Ash and Misty, but only because he wanted a chance to battle Ash again and see how much he has improved since they last battled. That would be the only reason he would come with her to visit her friends. To battle. To become stronger.

Honestly, she wouldn't have minded it if it wasn't for Ash and Misty and their…_gushiness_ with one another.

Their gushiness only reminded her of how non-gushy she and Paul were.

"Now are we going to battle anytime soon, or can I go home now?" Paul asked.

"Paul, don't be so rude," she told him, giving him a stern look. He ignored her.

"Well?"

"Fine, we'll battle right now," Ash decided, getting up. "Three-on-three?"

Paul nodded.

Dawn sighed, and she turned away, feeling the corner of her lips pull down in a frown. She heard the chair's legs scrape against the hard concrete floor as Paul got up and followed Ash and Misty. Paul only stopped for a brief second to turn back to her, a slight scowl painted across his features, and asked, "Are you coming or not?"

"I'll be there in a minute," she responded, not looking at him, her eyes focused on the cracks on Ash and Misty's blue counter. She listened to the soft thuds of Paul's shoes as he walked out of the house, and she sighed again as she heard the click of the door shutting.

Slowly she stood up and followed Paul out the door, her expression tired.

Already she could see Paul on one end of the yard and Ash and Misty on the other side. While Ash and Misty were both talking to each other cheerfully, Paul just stood there, looking impatient.

"Good luck, Paul," she told him as she approached him. Paul just spared her one glance before nodding, his only response a small grunt.

Dawn looked back at Ash and Misty. Ash was now grinning broadly as he talked to her, his eyes sparkling cheerfully as he went down on both knees to say something to Misty's growing belly. All Dawn heard were the words 'daddy', 'beat', and 'Paul'.

Well, it didn't take a genius to figure out what Ash was saying.

Yeah, whatever to you too, she thought to Paul as she turned around, a tight feeling in her chest, about to take her usual seat in front of Ash's and Misty's tiny house, a safe distance away.

"Dawn."

Dawn's heart stopped as he said her name. "Yeah?" she responded, turning around.

"Are you coming down sick?"

Dawn blinked, surprised by the question. "Um, no. Why?" She raised an eyebrow at him, truly curious.

He just shrugged, not looking at her. "You've been really quiet."

"Well… no need to worry. I'm not coming down sick or anything," she said.

"Hn."

"Yeah…" She turned away, her lips pursed, and took her seat next to Misty.

"Sceptile, let's go!"

"Electivire, stand by for battle!"

"So do you guys know the gender of the baby yet?" Dawn asked Misty as their husbands ordered their first attacks.

Misty smiled but shook her head. "Not yet. We'll be finding out next week."

"That's good," she said, smiling. "What gender do you think it is?"

"Honestly, I have no clue," the carrot top responded. "Sometimes it feels like a boy. Other times I think it's a girl. It is so amazing though!" She gushed, "Knowing that you're carrying someone that is half you and half the love of your life. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, of course…" she lied, smiling.

She had no clue what the carrot top meant. She wasn't pregnant and she wasn't carrying Paul's child. And for all she knew, Paul could have been one of those guys who didn't even want children.

As the conversation between the two girls died down, Dawn found her eyes becoming fixed to Paul, and she felt a tug in her stomach. She was married to him and yet at the same time, it felt as if they were worlds apart.

She hated the way he always left her feeling invisible or confused by his actions. He was always too preoccupied with his training or battling other trainers (mainly Ash) to even look at her, leaving her feeling invisible. And whenever he wasn't training his pokémon or battling, he always did or said stuff that left her confused. He would be affectionate one moment and then literally a second later he would pull away from her again, blocking her and the rest of the world off, leaving her to face the cold ice wall he left behind.

Sometimes she wondered how she even put up with him. Honestly, if he had been married to anyone else, they probably would have left him by now.

"Thunder!"

Dawn watched, a smile gracing her lips, as Electivire fired off a powerful blast of electricity that crackled gold. The thunder illuminated everything in the faint dusk light.

Such power…

Dawn turned towards Paul. His bangs blew in the breeze and his face was illuminated by the light of Electivire's attack, revealing his stoic expression. She stared at him, awe struck by the sight of him.

He was so calm, so collected. His arms were folded across his chest and his onyx eyes revealed nothing. His lips in a firm line, he looked nothing but serious.

And powerful.

His lips moved briefly to call out another attack.

"Thunder punch!"

Paul's face became illuminated once more by the electricity gathering in Electivire's fists. There was a loud crackling sound as the attack collided with Sceptile's Leaf Blade.

Sceptile was knocked backwards a good few yards. Electivire was only pushed back a few feet.

Paul was definitely becoming stronger.

"Finish this with Thunder!"

There was another powerful wave of electricity as Electivire obeyed Paul's orders. The wind picked up and whipped at Dawn's face. She turned towards Paul again and felt a jolt that sent goosebumps up and down her body.

He looked as if he could take on the world.

Like an indestructible tyrant, nobody could stop him.

Nobody could stop him…

He was unbreakable. Undefeatable.

Dawn felt her body become warm as pride for Paul filled her.

As Ash returned his fallen Sceptile, Paul suddenly turned towards her; their eyes locked. Dawn's cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling so big, but all the pain in the world was worth seeing Paul smile at her like he did in that moment, no matter how small or ephemeral it was.

* * *

"What do you like about me?"

Paul turned over in bed to shoot his blue-haired wife a questioning look. "What?"

"What do you like about me?"

Paul shot a glance at the clock, its red digits bright and glaring in the darkness.

12:43

"Dawn... it's past midnight. Go to sleep." He ordered, turning his back to her once more.

"So? First tell me what you like about me."

The plum-haired man sighed again, this time sitting up in bed as he turned to his wife. "Why?"

"Because I want to know what you like about me," she responded, and even in the darkness Paul could see her lips begin to form a pout. Paul glanced down at her lap and saw the glare of a glossy magazine cover.

"Dawn…"

"Here, I'll tell you what I like about you then," she offered. Clearing her throat, she said, "I like how you're ambitious and how you're not afraid to go after what you want."

"Dawn…"

She continued, "I also like how passionate you are as a trainer, and how passionate you are with your training. It's really inspiring to watch you, and I just love how you never give up, no matter what. Just like you never gave up on your dream of defeating Brandon, even after that first loss in Snowpoint City."

Paul was silent as he listened to this. Finally, he sighed.

"I like how you're always smiling," he said after a moment. "And how you're always a bubbly person to be around, even if it is annoying sometimes."

Dawn smiled at him, a blush beginning to warm her cheeks. "I like how you choose to drink orange juice over coffee in the morning. I honestly think it says a lot about the kind of person you are."

"I like how you always say 'no need to worry'."

"I like the way you look when you're battling other trainers, as if you're on top of the world or like you're some formidable warrior."

"I like your compassionate nature and how sweet you are." He paused briefly before adding, "Your confidence though was what really attracted me to you. It's rare to see someone who can be both confident and compassionate."

Dawn's cheeks burned as he said this and she felt her lips pull upwards in a huge grin.

"Really?" she giggled.

Paul gave a faint "hn" as a response.

"You know… another thing I like about you is the look you get on your face when you're annoyed, especially the look you give me when I do something to annoy you…"

Silence.

"You're scowling now, aren't you?"

More silence.

There was a _click!_ as the lamp was turned on, a bright wave of light washing over their bed. Dawn looked over, her eyes burning from the sudden brightness, to see Paul scowling at her, shielding his eyes from the light.

"_Dawn."_

"What? I was just confirming my suspicions," she said, smiling, leaving the light on. "And my suspicions are confirmed: you _are_ scowling."

Paul's scowl only deepened as she said this.

"You're so cute when you're annoyed," she cooed. She wanted to reach over to pinch his cheek but she knew not to push it.

Paul remained silent.

Dawn's eyes narrowed and her grin faded into a frown. "Oh come on Paul, lighten up," she said, pushing him lightly.

She was caught by surprise as he caught her wrist, and her eyes widened as she found herself being pushed down. Gasping for breath, Dawn waited until her mind cleared until she looked up to see cold onyx black eyes staring back at her. A second later Dawn realized her wrists were pinned down as Paul hovered over her.

Dawn felt her face flush pink and a smirk slowly found its way across Paul's face.

"Paul! Get off me!" she exclaimed, her pink face quickly turning to a bright cherry red.

"That reminds me, I forgot to mention something else I like about you…"

"What?" she asked, feeling more heat rise in her cheeks.

"I like how red your face gets when I'm so close to you."

"Oh, what is that supposed to mean?" she demanded, her face flushing even redder. "I-I mean, don't flatter yourself! I-I'm only this red because of how hot it is in here! Now get off me before I die of a freaking heat stroke! My god, you're like a human heater." She stuttered, her face growing hotter and hotter by the second.

"You sure about that?" he asked.

"Y-yes…yes. Yes, I am positive."

"Okay, if you say so." In one swift movement he was off of her, and Dawn was free to move her limbs.

Dawn breathed a sigh of relief and she placed a hand over her heart as she waited for the poor, startled organ to function normally again.

"Jerk…" she mumbled, her face still bright red.

A small smirk slid across Paul's face as he closed his eyes, his arms folded behind his head.

Dawn stared at him, her blush slowly dying down as she studied his facial features. Watching him, she decided she wanted to cherish this moment; this moment where he wasn't focused on his training or battling; this moment where he was just relaxing, lying there with her….

Paul opened his eyes and turned towards her. "What?" he asked.

Dawn just smiled, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Just cherishing the moment," she answered truthfully. Paul just raised an eyebrow and Dawn laughed. However, the warm, bubbly feeling in her chest slowly died down as she stared at him as it was replaced by a bittersweet kind of feeling.

"Paul?"

"Hn?"

Dawn hesitated before shaking her head, her lips still curved in a small smile. "Never mind…"

How weird it was to be so close to somebody and yet feel so far away from them at the same time….

Paul shot her a puzzled look but said nothing. Dawn smiled, tentatively reaching out her hand to lay it on his cheek. His eyes, a mesmerizing onyx hue, gazed into her ocean-blue eyes. Dawn felt her breath catch in her throat, that bittersweet feeling in her chest suddenly becoming overwhelming as her eyelids flickered closed.

"_Hey, look! It's Paul! Paul!"_

"_Do I know you?"_

"_I should have seen that coming… Yeah! Kind of. I traveled with Ash! You remember Ash, don't you?"_

"_Oh yeah… you're Dawn."_

_He remembers me, _she remembered those were the words that had went through her mind at that moment as a small blush rose on her cheeks._ He even remembers my name!_

"_Aye, you should come watch my contest so you can see me win!"_

"_You sure are confident that you're__ going to win."_

"_Of course! My pokémon have been working really hard on their training and mastering their appeals, so I'm confident we'll do good!"_

"_Hn."_

"_Hey Paul!"_

"_Hn?"_

"_So, what are you up to?"_

"_I'm on my way to battle Brandon."_

"_Pyramid King Brandon?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Oh, well, good luck! I'm sure you and your pokémon will do great!__"_

"_Hn… you can come watch if you want…"_

"_Really? You wouldn't mind?"_

"_Hn__…"_

"_Congratulations, Paul! You and your pokémon were amazing__ against Brandon!"_

"_Hn. Thanks."_

Dawn recalled the sound of Paul's steps on the hard marble floor as he walked away and the sound it made as it echoed off the walls, even when he stopped to turn around and face her.

"_I saw you win your last contest."_

"_You did? Really? How do you think we did? Did you like our appeals?"_

"…"

"_Umm…Paul?__"_

"_You should meet me at the Veilstone Park at seven."_

"_Oh, um, sure. Why? Are you having a battle there at that time?"_

"_No."_

"_Oh. Then why…?"_ she could remember her heart fluttering in her chest, as she pondered what this could possibly mean.

"_Because… S__o we can talk."_

"_Talk? But we can talk now… oh. Wait, a-are you… did you…j-just ask me out?"_

"_What do you think I'm doing? Just making friendly conversation? Yes, I am,__" _The sound of his shoes hitting the floor filled the room again as he walked away. _"Remember, Veilstone Park, seven o'clock."_

"_Look at the moon. It's so big ton__ight! And it's so bright and beautiful…"_

"_Hn."_

"_Paul?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Thank you, for taking me here, and to the Seven Stars Restaurant. Tonight was just perfect."_

"_You deserve it after your victory in the Grand Festival."_

"_Haha, yeah, I guess I do…"_

"_Look at those stars, over there. What do they look like to you?"_

"_Wait, those ones?"_

"_Yeah, the bright ones."_

"_Um, well, it kind of looks like a heart. Hey, Paul__—__Paul?"_

_Holy crap, my heart is going to explode._ She could remember those thoughts crossing her mind as she saw Paul on one knee, a large diamond sparkling in the black velvet box he held open in his hands.

"_Marry me."_

Dawn's eyes snapped open as she felt Paul's hand on hers, her hand still on his cheek, and gazing into his dark eyes, she got, not for the first time, that nagging feeling that Paul was holding back from her.

Dawn's eyes closed again as he brushed a wisp of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She lowered her hand and he dropped his. Her hand clenched into a fist that she held close to her heart.

Sometimes she would look up at Paul to see him staring at her, as if he was about to say something to her or do something, only to have him look away, his hands clenched at his sides or wherever, as he detached himself from her and the rest of the world.

Had he always been this way or was it something new? Dawn found that she honestly could not remember.

"Paul, I—"

"I also like how peaceful you look when you're sleeping. And I like the way you look when you're deep in thought."

Dawn felt herself smile, and she shook away the doubts and worries clouding her mind.

He's here now. I should just be happy about that, she thought.

"Good night, Paul…" she whispered, turning off the lamp.

"Hn…"

* * *

"Wow! You're really coming along, huh?" Dawn commented to Misty, a smile on her face. "So how many months has it been now?"

"Eight…and a half," Misty responded, taking a bite out of a carrot. "I'm due in two weeks."

"Really? It looks like you could have the baby today if you wanted to," she said. "Are you sure you're not having twins?"

"Mmm," Misty murmured, rubbing a hand over her stomach. "Yeah. I'm positive. It's only one baby. I'm sure of it."

"Do you still have no idea what gender it is? Since you and Ash decided you wanted to wait until you actually had the baby to find out…"

"Honestly, I still have no clue," the carrot top responded. "But I do feel like it's a boy more than a girl a lot of the time."

"Maybe it'll be a tomboy," Dawn suggested, smiling.

"Just like her mother," Ash commented as he approached, and wrapped his arms around Misty's waist and laid his hands on her protruding belly. Misty smiled as she turned towards her husband, and laid her hands on top of his. "I'm not positive about what gender this baby is going to be, but I am positive about one thing: no matter what this baby turns out to be, Misty will make a great mother."

"Aw, Ash…" Misty whispered, a blush and smile blooming on her face.

"Awwww," Dawn giggled as she watched the two.

Dawn turned as she heard a sigh from behind her. She nearly jumped as she saw Paul; she hadn't even realized he had moved behind her.

Ash looked up, his eyes first landing on Paul but then flickering to her. He smiled, his whole face aglow. "I bet you would make a good mother too, Dawn. However, I can't say the same about Paul making a good father…no offense, dude."

Dawn blushed, her hands unconsciously moving to her stomach. "Ash!" she exclaimed, her eyes shifting to Paul. Hesitantly she added, "Paul would make a wonderful father… you know, if we ever do have kids." She frowned, unable to imagine the thought.

Paul only scowled at Ash, his eyes burning a hole in the raven-haired man's head.

Ash only grinned. "We could only hope."

Dawn's blush deepened and she looked away, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with the topic of kids. Paul doesn't want kids, she thought fiercely to herself. Well, he probably doesn't. I mean, _does_ he want kids? Dawn frowned and her eyebrows furrowed together as she thought about this.

Paul's too caught up in his training to want kids, she decided after a moment. I mean, he barely has time for me. If we ever had did have a baby, it would probably be like raising the baby as a single-parent.

At this thought an unexplainable chill went down Dawn's back, sending goosebumps crawling up her arms and legs.

Caught up in her own thoughts, Dawn hadn't even noticed the argument now going on between Ash and Paul until they both walked outside to settle the argument with a battle.

"Boys," Misty sighed, shaking her head. "What are you going to do?"

Dawn remained silent, unable to come up with an appropriate response.

* * *

Dawn watched Paul train through the sliding glass door in the safety of their kitchen, her arms folded across her chest, her lips a straight line and her eyes expressed only blankness.

Lightning illuminated the trees, flames shot high up in the sky, leaves danced like a beautifully horrific tornado, and ice sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight as Paul commanded his pokémon; it was like one big, beautiful, elemental storm, created by the commands of one man: her husband, Paul.

Power, so much power; and so much strength.

She watched as Ursaring brought its claws down on the trunk of one of their large oak trees, bringing it down with one swipe. Dawn felt a chill go down her back as she watched the pokémon.

Ursaring was easily one of Paul's most powerful pokémon, but it seemed like it had become even more powerful since Paul decided to switch its diet around a bit. Dawn knew how much a pokémon's diet could affect how well it battled; a diet with a lot of fat could slow a pokémon down and hinder its attacks, but a nutritious diet could do the exact opposite.

Dawn flinched as she saw Ursaring bring its giant claws down on Honchkrow, slamming the pokémon into another large oak tree.

"GRRRAAAAWWRRR!" The giant bear pokémon roared as Honchkrow charged at it. Ursaring raised it's a paw, its sharp claws glinting dangerously in the sunlight. Paul's mouth moved as he ordered another attack.

Dawn just watched, her heart thumping in her chest as she watched Ursaring bring its claws down, down, down… Honchkrow swooped down, just in front of Paul. Down, down, down.

Dawn's hands reached for the door, ready to pull it open and scream, a frightened gasp escaping her mouth as she watched Ursaring's claws barely miss hitting Paul.

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap! Dawn screamed mentally, her heart still racing a mile an hour in her chest. _Ho-ly crap!_

Paul just stood there, unaffected by how close Ursaring's attack came to hitting him.

Dawn looked away, suddenly unable to watch his training, her insides suddenly feeling as if they were made out of ice.

Numbly, she walked away and laid down on their cyan blue couch, her eyes slipping closed as she allowed sleep to envelope her after trembling for what felt like hours.

* * *

"Paul—"

"Not now Dawn."

The blunette inhaled sharply, her fists clenched at her sides as she closed her eyes. She was about to retort sharply before she stopped herself. She knew arguing with him would do no good. Always his response would go something like this:

"Not now, I'm training."

And if she argued further he would just say:

"I need to get stronger, that way I can defeat Cynthia."

She understood what he meant, she knew his ambitions, and she supported this dream of his, she liked how he was ambitious, but was it really necessary for him to train twenty four-seven? He trained from the crack of dawn until eleven at night most days.

She had had this argument with him several times though and the outcome of the argument was always the same.

So, biting her tongue, she forced back her next words and forced herself to calm down. She told herself to not get riled up over this, that it wasn't worth it to pick a fight with Paul.

"Fine," she said softly, her throat raw as she walked away with the utmost of grace.

Whatever. She would just train her pokémon for her next contest which was coming up in the next few days.

Paul briefly turned around as he watched his wife slowly walk into their house and close the door quietly behind her, her head held high. He sighed, ignoring the voice in his head that criticized the way he treated Dawn, and commanded Torterra to use another Leaf Storm.

He's not mean; he's just harshly honest. He's not cruel, well, at least, not anymore; he was just tough on his pokémon. He's not cold; he just isn't a fan of company. And he's not arrogant; he's just confident and ambitious.

She had heard all the names used to describe Paul and his personality, and somehow she always a found a way to either justify the trait or make it sound better than it really was. But it wasn't just because she disliked hearing people call her husband cruel or rude, even if it was her friends calling him those names; it was also because she understood him. Once, long ago, she had called him cruel and mean too. But now, she realized he was not everything she had thought he was.

But along with the realization that was he was not everything she thought he was, also came the realization that he was still _some_ of the things she thought he was….

**-x-x-x-x-**

"I'm just saying, you should treat your pokémon with more respect!"

"And I'm just saying you should mind your own damn business! It is not a crime to train my pokémon."

"Maybe not, but it's still not right that you train your pokémon twenty four-seven! Do you even give them time to rest?"

"Of course," Paul retorted. "I'm not stupid. And I don't train them twenty four-seven."

"Well, according to Dawn—"

Leave me out of this! Dawn thought, groaning. She already felt horrible about remarking on Paul's training habits. She hadn't meant for Ash and Paul to get into a huge argument over the topic, but of course she should have known better by now. Despite being at slightly better terms than they were when they first met, they were still rivals and were different in so many ways.

"It doesn't matter what Dawn said. She was exaggerating."

Dawn wanted to but in and agree with Paul, but she knew better not to.

"God, this gets old so fast," Misty said, smoothing her hands over her belly and scowling at her husband who was passionately arguing his point to Paul, nearly stepping on pikachu as he took a step toward Paul.

"I know," she responded miserably.

Misty quirked an eyebrow at Dawn, concern flickering in her sea-green eyes. "Aye, you alright? You look pale."

"I'm fine," she said, sighing. "I just feel bad for starting this argument."

"Hey, you didn't start this," Misty told her, laying a hand on her shoulders. She smiled at the blunette. "Besides, we all know an argument is inevitable when it comes to these two."

Dawn just nodded and closed her eyes, breathing deeply through her mouth.

"You can still become strong without training your pokémon day and night! For instance, I take time off to let my pokémon rest and go on dates with Misty!"

"Which explains why you always lose to me," Paul retorted.

"I don't always lose and you know it!" Ash exclaimed, his face becoming red now. "And that's still not the point! The point is you should respect your pokémon and give them more time to rest! Not to mention you should have more respect for Dawn. How do you think Dawn feels about your training habits?"

Dawn's head snapped up and her blue eyes widened at the new subject Ash and Paul were approaching. "Ash, no…" she groaned, her stomach tying up in knots.

"Dawn doesn't care."

You're wrong, she thought despairingly. I do care that you spend more time with your pokémon than you do with me, your wife. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I understand your goals and ambitions...

"Either way, you should still spend more time with her! Like I always make time to spend with Misty so we can go to the beach, or watch a movie together, or sometimes just talk."

"Yeah, I figured that was kind of obvious considering how you're now only days away from being a dad," he sneered, glaring at Ash.

Misty blushed at this remark, her lips twitching upwards in an embarrassed smile.

Ash glared back at him, his cheeks also becoming pink in embarrassment. "You should spend more time with Dawn!" he insisted. "You're _married._ If I was you I would be a little more grateful towards Dawn considering she hasn't left your sorry ass yet!"

"Ash, really, is this necess—"

"Stay out of this, Dawn," Paul hissed.

Dawn's eyes widened in shock at Paul's cold words and immediately felt tears begin to build up in her eyes. Stubbornly she blinked them back; she refused to cry. Dawn took another deep breath, trying to clear her foggy mind and calm the nerves starting to build up inside her, before pursing her lips.

God, she felt like shit.

"You just think you're right about everything, don't you?" Paul asked, his voice low and cold. "You think you know everything, that you know best, that unless it's your way it's the wrong way. You don't know anything about me, or my training, or my love life, so keep out of it and mind your own business,_ Ketchum_."

Ash glowered at him, his hand inching towards his belt where he kept his poké balls. "I don't think I'm always right, and I don't know how you and Dawn are at your apartment, but I can't help but notice how half the time I see you two, you hardly even spare her a glance!"

Dawn stomach suddenly heaved and she gasped, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth. Oh, damn…

"Paul…" Dawn called weakly, her hand still covering her mouth.

Paul ignored her.

"Well, isn't somebody observant?" Paul sneered. "Shouldn't you be focusing on your own relationship instead of someone else's?"

"You know what your problem is—!"

"Paul…" she tried again.

"Dawn?" Misty asked, noticing Dawn's ashen face.

"And your problem is that—" Suddenly, Dawn stumbled forward and grabbed Paul's hand, successfully grabbing his attention. When he turned towards her she saw he was scowling. "What?" he asked.

Dawn took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice—and stomach—before responding, "I'm not feeling so well right now. I would like to go home…"

"Just lie down on the couch," he replied indifferently, returning his attention back to Ash who was still glaring at him. "You'll feel better."

Dawn nodded, but inside she was raging. She hated how Ash was so right about their relationship, and how she had to practically fight with Ash just for his attention. It was ridiculous!

"C'mon," Misty said, linking her arm with the blunette's and offering her an apologetic smile. "Let's get you to the couch. You don't look well at all…did you eat anything this morning?"

Dawn nodded, feeling light-headed and unsteady as she stood up. "Yeah…I had some yogurt..."

"Ah." Misty was now staring at her, a questioning look in her eyes.

Dawn frowned, tilting her head to the side. "Misty?"

The carrot top smiled before shaking her head. "Here, lie down. And don't worry about Paul. You know how those two get when they are in the middle of an argument."

"It still gives him no right to be a jerk…" she muttered, her eyebrows furrowing together in an angry scowl while her chin trembled. Stubbornly, she turned away from Misty's probing eyes and blinked back the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Don't listen to what Ash says either," Misty said after a while, now watching her raven-haired husband argue with Paul. "He doesn't know yours and Paul's relationship. Like Paul said, Ash likes to think he's right about everything sometimes, unfortunately."

"But he's right…" Dawn whispered to herself.

"Ash just likes to push Paul's button, and he certainly knows just how to push them," Misty sighed, shaking her head. She stared at her round, impregnated stomach, stroking it softly. "Dawn?"

"Hmm?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Better…kind of."

"Ah. That's good," she murmured. "So what _is_ yours and Paul's relationship like, if you don't mind me asking?"

Dawn was silent for a moment. "He is out a lot…" she murmured. "But," she sat up suddenly, turning to Misty. "We do go out on a date once a month usually. Like about three weeks ago he took me to Sunyshore." She smiled as she remembered the date, a blush rising on her cheeks.

"You went to the beach when it's almost winter?" Misty laughed.

"Hey, this was in the middle of November, it was still pretty warm there in Sunyshore at that time," Dawn responded.

"Well, that's a few hours away from Veilstone, hm?"

"Yeah, about three hours. We ended up staying there for three days."

"Oh, so Paul took three days off from training to go to the beach for you, hm? Well, that must be a new record for him," she joked, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, um, not necessarily… he did train on the beach for a few hours," she admitted. "But then I made him come into the ocean with me and then I had him help me build a sand castle."

"Well, it still sounds like a fun date," the carrot top replied, smiling. "Like I said though, just don't listen to Ash. You've known him almost as long as I have, so you should know how he gets…"

"I know how both of them get, especially when they're with each other," she sighed, frowning.

"Dawn…are you okay?"

"Of course! Why would you ask?"

Misty shrugged. "No reason. I just… I just don't want you to take what Ash said seriously. Just don't think that much about it."

Dawn smiled as she turned toward her friend. "No need to worry. I won't. Like you said, Ash doesn't know about mine and Paul's relationship like I do."

* * *

The whites of Dawn's eyes were an irritated red as tears streamed down her cheeks like a waterfall, even as she dabbed at all her tears with a tissue.

Why did he have to die?! Why?! Why?! It's so unfair! Her mind screamed as she blew her nose into an already soggy tissue.

"Are you watching Titanic again?"

Dawn shook her head.

"The Notebook?"

"I watched that _hours _ago. I just finished watching The Woman in Black right now."

"The Woman in Black?"

"Yeah. It's a kind of scary movie slash paranormal movie or something, I dunno. The main guy in it just _died_ though!" she sobbed, breaking down into more tears. "And his kid died also! And then there was the mom… for a moment, I thought the mom had saved them but no! She was there because they were also dead! It was the most depressing ending _ever!_"

Awkwardly Paul just stood there, uncomfortable at the sight of his wife having an emotional breakdown over the ending of a movie. He hadn't seen her _this_ upset since the first time she watched Jack die in Titanic.

"They were reunited… the family was reunited… that should be a happy ending, shouldn't it? Then why am I crying? It was so saaaaaaaaaad! Ohmygod, I am never going to be happy again!" she declared, burying her sobbing face into their comforter.

Paul sighed, and rubbed his temple.

It had been a long night. He had been training until just a few minutes ago, and it was one o'clock in the morning. He just wanted to get to bed now.

"Dawn, it's just a movie. Nobody really died, so _quit crying_."

"I can't," her muffled voice responded as she broke down into another fresh bout of tears.

What is with her being so emotional lately? He wondered, irritated. This was the third night in a row he had come in from training to find her sobbing over some character's death or a lovers' breakup in some movie she was watching.

He was definitely going to have to hide all the movies they owned until she got over this emotional phase she was going through.

Slowly, he walked over to their bed and sat down. He watched her shoulders as they shook and listened to her muffle sobs as she cried into their comforter. Slowly he felt his irritation fade.

He leaned forward, so his mouth was pressed against her ear. "It was only a movie," he murmured, and slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "It was only a movie."

"I know…" she whispered, burying her head in his chest. "I just can't stop crying…"

Paul closed his eyes as he waited for Dawn's sobs to die down.

About twenty minutes later he recognized the familiar rise and fall of Dawn's chest when she was sleeping. Gently he laid her down on one side and brushed her bangs away from her face.

He studied her silently, frowning. She looked so peaceful now, so serene, as if she hadn't been an emotional wreck for the past few days. Slowly his eyes traveled from her face down to her chest and then to her stomach, his eyes lingering there.

Slowly, his eyes found their way back up to her face.

Briefly Ash's words echoed in his ears.

"_You're __**married**__. If I was you I would be a little more grateful towards Dawn considering she hasn't left your sorry ass yet!"_

* * *

Dawn glanced at the clock as Paul walked in their bedroom, a towel in one arm as he got ready to shower.

12:13.

Another late night. However, he had returned earlier than he had last night.

Dawn sighed as she heard the showerhead turn on; she listened to the sound of the water pounding the marble floor and the melodramatic voices of the characters on the TV show she was watching.

When Paul exited the bathroom, topless and wearing only gray sweatpants as pajamas as always, and his long plum-colored hair wet and clinging to his shoulders, Dawn flicked off the TV. She sat cross-legged on their bed in her pajamas, a pink tank top and matching boxer shorts (which she wore despite the wintry weather), her lips set in a stern line as she watched her husband make his way to their bed.

Of course, Paul noticed her watching him and raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

Dawn released a breath of air, deciding it was now or never.

"I have a contest tomorrow. You are coming to watch me."

Paul sighed, irritated, and opened his mouth to retort that he already had plans.

"You are coming," she repeated again, her voice rising as she continued, "I'll drag you there if I have to! Tie you up and make you be there! I will!" Her hands clenched in her lap as she glared at him, determined to get her way.

He looked at her, amused.

"Fine."

Dawn felt her body relax as he said this one word, but she felt her heart tug as he sat down next to her.

No, it's still not fine, she thought.

She calculated the distance between them, only a foot, and told herself that he was right there beside her, that if she wanted to she could just reach out and touch him. He wasn't miles away, he was right beside her.

Dawn stared at him, her blue eyes sad, and her fists once again tightening in her lap. She could touch him, damn it. He was only a foot away. Why did she feel so far away from him though?

Paul turned towards her, feeling her eyes on him. Their eyes connected and Dawn's heart thumped in her chest. She swore some real emotion had just entered Paul's eyes, but it had disappeared right before she could properly identify the emotion, once again blocked by Paul's ice wall. What was it she had seen in his eyes? Sadness? Regret? Or had she just imagined it, her heart and mind playing tricks on her?

"Paul… I—" She closed her mouth, unsure on what she was about to say. He waited, his eyes never leaving hers.

She frowned, thinking of their wedding. She briefly wondered for not the first time if he had always been this way—so withdrawn, so reserved, so…unreachable. She supposed so. She had just never noticed it up until her friends got married.

She thought of her friends.

May and Drew and their big, beautiful wedding—they had looked so happy together, always gazing so lovingly into each other's eyes, their fingers intertwined and their mouth stretched into huge smiles.

Ash and Misty and the growing baby in the latter's belly—always arguing playfully, and Ash overprotective of his wife and their growing child.

Even Zoey and Kenny acted more like a couple than her and Paul. Honestly, Dawn couldn't even imagine Zoey ever gazing so affectionately at any boy—but she had. At Kenny. He made her laugh just by being the dork he was, and she made his eyes grow big out of admiration for her fierceness and strength.

"I miss you…" she whispered.

They were never like all her friends. They had never been mushy gushy with each other; they had never whispered sweet nothings to each other or had an argument over who looked cuter or who loved each other more.

But once upon a time they had been like a real couple. They had held hands, they had went on dates more than once a month, and they had spent hours together a day, walking side by side as they traveled to their next destination.

"I'm right here," he told her, his voice flat. "I don't see why you would miss me."

At that moment Dawn felt infuriated with him, infuriated by his obliviousness.

"Yeah, but this is the only time you're ever here! When it's freaking 11 or 12, or heck, sometimes even one, two, or three at night! All the other times you're too busy training or battling Ash!"

Paul said nothing, shocked somewhat by her outburst.

She glared at him, tears beginning to blur her vision. "You just don't get it…" she murmured quietly, her eyes softening. A single tear slipped from her eye, rolling down her cheek. She turned away from him, huffing.

Paul cursed mentally.

"Dawn."

She turned to face him again, her eyes hard again as she stared at him. "I get it. You want to be Champion. You need to train. You need to become stronger. But you're _already_ strong. I watch you train and I worry that your pokémon will be the cause for the world ending. By now you're probably already stronger than Cynthia. Actually, no, I take that back. I know you are. You've worked so hard to become powerful, and I know you want to remain powerful, but does that really mean you have to train and battle twenty four-seven?

"I'm sorry if I sound selfish or bratty saying this, but I am your _wife_, and believe it or not, but I would like to spend more time with my _husband_ than I do. Is that so hard to ask for?" she asked, her voice quavering and ending high-pitched.

Paul looked away, his eyebrows furrowing together. He hated the way words wouldn't form on the top of his tongue; he hated feeling so speechless.

"I'm not just talking about spending more time intimately with you either," she said, her voice barely above a whisper now. "I mean actually spend _time_ together. Like Ash and Misty do. Talking, discussing, whatever. Like when we were teenagers. Like _before we were married_."

Paul turned back to her, his face softening, but his eyes were as dark and emotionless as ever. He reached a hand forward and touched her face, running his thumb along the structure of her cheekbone.

Dawn's breath caught in her throat, and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that when she opened them he would still be there. He was.

She frowned at him, her eyebrows furrowing together. Her frown deepened as she searched his eyes for some kind of emotion but saw none.

At that moment a strange feeling came over Dawn.

He was here, but only for the moment.

Another tear slipped from her eyes but this time it was from the strange, cold sensation that came over her, a feeling she could not begin to understand and was difficult to describe. It was a feeling that sent the hairs on her arms standing up and sent a cold chill down her spine. It was like some kind of foreboding. More tears fell from her blue eyes, rolling at a steady speed down her cheeks, starting to roll down Paul's thumb.

"…I like how outspoken you can be."

Dawn looked up, her eyes meeting his once more.

"And I like how you'll always smile, if only to make everybody else happy even when I know you're not."

As Paul had hoped would happen, she smiled. It was a small smile, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"We had this conversation like forever ago…" she commented quietly.

"And I like it when you're happy."

That one was especially true, although Paul supposed a lot of it probably had to do with the fact he didn't know how to handle her very well when she was sad or angry with him.

Her smile widened a little more, and she wiped away her tears. "Will you come to my contest tomorrow?" she asked, her voice slightly hoarse.

Paul was silent for a moment, and Dawn took this chance to desperately fill in the silence.

"I'll win. Just for you. I promise you if you come, I'll win. I really will," she told him. "I'll win, just for you, even if it kills me."

Paul shook his head. "Don't make promises you're not sure you can keep."

"I will though! I'll win, just for you. Please come, Paul. I want you there." She grabbed his hand, holding it in hers as she stared up at him with her big, blue, pleading eyes.

He sighed. "I already said fine."

She smiled, and said again, "I'll win Paul. I promise I'll win for you." And she kissed him, her soft lips touching his.

_I'll win… just for you… even if it kills me._

* * *

Dawn stared at the scoreboard, her eyes wide in disbelief.

She thought she would cry…

She had lost. Ursula had won.

He mind flashed back to last night with Paul and the words she had said to him, the promise she had made to him.

"_I'll win. Just for you. I promise you if you come, I'll win."_

But he had came, and she had lost.

_She had lost._

Dawn searched the crowd, looking for Paul's face, her eyes filled with shame. She was so close to tears but she pushed them back, knowing Paul would scold her for crying just because of a lost. Finally, she found Paul in the crowd and he looked up, their eyes locking. Dawn quickly looked away, too ashamed. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, but she wiped it away before anyone could see it.

When she looked back, she saw Paul was gone. No doubt he was going to retrieve her, thinking to himself about how she had wasted the precious time he could have been using to train to go a contest _she lost. _She felt sick just thinking about what a failure she was.

She waited to see Paul's plum-colored hair, his broad and muscular form, and his scolding onyx eyes. She finally saw him leaning against a wall on the opposite wall she was standing by. Taking a deep breath, she took a slow step towards him. Another step. Shaky step by shaky step, she finally made it to him, her face lowered in shame. When she finally had the courage to look up, she was greeted by emotionless eyes.

His eyes weren't scornful, yet somehow it still bugged her. His eyes were blank, they showed nothing. He was feeling nothing. And if he was feeling anything, he was cleverly masking whatever it was he was feeling.

"Let's go." He said simply.

She nodded, swallowing thickly. She took one step, but then stopped, her whole body beginning to tremble. Her head was pounding and she felt light-headed, her whole stomach tightening.

Oh god, she thought.

Black spots filled her eyes as they took turns going in and out of focus. Through blurred images and black spots she could barely make out Paul turning around to see what was wrong, his hands in his pockets as always.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she stumbled backwards, willing herself not to throw up. Somehow she backed into the girl's dressing room and bathroom, the blurred image of Paul growing smaller in the distance. Finally in a bathroom, she somehow made it to a toilet before puking.

The next minutes were nothing but a blur.

Probably no more than five minutes later she heard a faint knocking and Paul's voice.

"_Dawn. Dawn."_

Dawn squeezed her eyes shut before inhaling deeply. She felt so weak, so frail, she couldn't even care that she was lying on the floor next to a toilet.

"_Dawn__!"_

Oh, like you care where I am or how I'm doing! She thought, suddenly angry.

Slowly, she sat up, her head ringing.

Stupid nerves. Stupid Paul. Stupid everything and everyone.

"Dawn!"

Slowly, she stood up, still feeling shaky.

"Daw—"

"Coming!" she yelled, agitated. "My god, calm down."

She opened the door to see Paul, now leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. He watched as she stepped out of the dressing room/rest room, her face flushed, but said nothing, his mouth a straight line. Silently she followed him out of the Contest Hall and into the car where they drove him in silence.

The silence broke as they entered their small house.

"You shouldn't have done that last move."

Dawn blinked, surprise etched on her face as she turned to Paul.

"What?"

"Hydropump would have been a lot more effective than bubblebeam," he explained. "It's a much more powerful move."

He was lecturing her…

Dawn stared at him, feeling her heart begin to race – in anger? – as her head throbbed to a similar rhythm.

"Hydropump?" she asked, quietly.

Paul nodded. "You're smarter than that, you should have defeated Ursula."

Dawn nodded, feeling shame build up inside of her but mixed with that shame was bitter anger.

She had failed Paul. She had promised to win for him if he came to her contest, and she had lost. She had _failed._

Briefly Dawn's mind flickered to Ash and Misty. She thought about what Ash would have done if Misty lost a battle that was really important to her, or vice versa. Ash would comfort Misty; he would tell her she did her best, that it didn't matter if she lost. And she would do the same, like she always did after Ash lost a battle to Paul.

Why can't Paul be like that? She wondered, hating how bitter and angry she felt at something so simple, something so stupid.

Because he was Paul, he was indifferent, cold, and honest. Didn't I tell him once I loved how he was always so honest? Did I lie to him? I think I did.

"I know I should have won against Ursula. I know I should have used Hydropump instead of Bubblebeam. But I did try my best," she said quietly.

"Next time you're just going to have to try harder," he said, turning away.

Dawn frowned. "Well, a good thing about losses is that it gives you a chance to learn from mistakes," she said cheerfully, forcing a smile.

"Dawn, there's no good things about losses," Paul said, scowling slightly as he turned to face her again. "If you lose, it just shows that there's someone stronger and better out there. It shows that you're not working hard enough and you need to try harder."

At this Dawn felt more anger rise inside of her. "I tried my hardest, Paul."

"But not hard enough."

"I work my butt off on appeals and new combos I can use in contests, I train my pokémon almost every day! I _do_ try hard enough. Not that you would know, since you're always too busy training your pokémon or battling Ash," she responded, spitting out the last sentence.

Paul glared at her. "Which I do in order to become stronger."

"Yeah, so you can defeat Cynthia. I already know why you're always training, why you're always battling Ash, why you're always blowing me off," she snapped. "So you can become stronger, so you defeat Cynthia, so you can become Champion of Sinnoh!" She could feel tears rise in her eyes.

Paul's glare became colder.

"All you care about is your training," she said. "In fact, I bet you'll die training. You'll be eighty, old and barely able to see or hear or walk even, and you'll still be outside this damn house, barking commands at your pokémon!"

A frustrated look came over his face, and Dawn saw he was clenching his fists, his arms folded across his chest.

"All you care about is training," she repeated, softer this time. Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back, determined not to cry in front of him. "I bet you don't even care about anyone or anything else. Not even your own wife."

Silence.

"Do you even love me? At all? Did you ever love me?" she asked softly, her voice trembling.

A surprised look came across Paul's face but he quickly masked it, before she could think too much about it. He just stared at her. Dawn stared back, feeling her heart being torn apart with every painful second that passed by in silence. It felt like an eternity had passed before he finally responded.

"Don't be stupid," he said, his final words, before turning away.

Dawn gaped, an overwhelming feeling of sorrow and anger hitting her like a wave.

_Don't be stupid_.

His voice echoed those three painful words over and over again in her mind.

Of course not. Of course he doesn't love me, she thought despairingly.

Dawn flipped on the TV, watching the screen where a reporter was talking about some recalled pokémon food that caused mood swings in pokémon, but she couldn't concentrate on the report being given. All she could hear or think about were the three words Paul had left her with before going outside to train his pokémon.

All he cares about is training, she thought. He trains as if he'll die tomorrow if he doesn't train them at least twelve hours a day.

But he has a whole lifetime ahead of him…

Turning away from the TV, Dawn walked over to the sliding glass door and leaned slightly against it. She had a perfect view of Paul training. He had out Torterra, Electivire, Magmortar, and Ursaring, the last one looking strangely out of it.

Dawn watched him, her eyes trained to his face. She couldn't help but notice how every now and then he would order an attack, and then stop, in mid-sentence, to stare out in space. He looked oddly distracted.

As she watched him, she felt more anger begin to bubble up inside of her, overriding the despair she had previously been feeling.

He is a fool! She thought. He is wasting his whole life training! He is already strong; he has a whole lifetime to defeat Cynthia.

He is a fool, she thought again. He takes everything for granted!

She watched as he ordered an attack from Magmortar and Electivire that sent an impressive amount of fire and electricity in the air that mingled together to form a beautiful shower of red and gold. And Paul just stood there, watching, like a dictator admiring the destruction he has created and the power he has obtained.

He assumes I'll always be here, she thought bitterly.

As she thought that, Paul suddenly turned towards her. Their eyes connected.

He takes me for granted, she thought.

And then, as if to prove her a hypocrite, it happened…

Dawn's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to scream. Her hand slammed painfully against the glass door as she frantically rushed to open it.

"PAUL!"

Out of the corner of her eye, just behind Paul, she had seen it. Ursaring, with one paw raised, its claws glinting menacingly in the sun. Its eyes had been blood red and Dawn just knew what was going to happen next.

Paul turned around, but it was too late. It was as if everything was moving in slow motion, everything except the sharp claws descending down on Paul.

She reached for her poké balls, tears running down her face, as she called out her Piplup, Mamoswine, and Togekiss.

She ordered no specific attacks, just one desperate demand: "STOP IT!"

She thought she heard Paul's agonized scream, but it could have been her own, or the scream of another pokémon. Either way, Dawn found that time was not on her side. It felt as if she was running in jello, as if she was moving in slow motion while the world was speeding away ahead of her. Her heart was racing faster than a rapidash, but her limbs felt heavy, and she swore the world stopped around her.. But she just couldn't move fast enough. She was positive a slowpoke would pass her any moment now.

"PAUL!"

Chaos was happening all around her. Piplup attacked Ursaring with a powerful Hydropump while both Mamoswine and Togekiss body slammed the giant, enraged bear. Torterra, Electivire, and Magmortar were also attacking the powerful pokémon. Her heart thumped in her chest, her mind whirled, and her vision blurred but all the while all she thought of was Paul, all she saw was Paul.

In her mind she saw him thrown against the giant oak tree he trained by every day, in her mind she saw the bruises that colored his skin, and in her mind she saw the blood that stained his clothes and trickled from his mouth.

She was crying uncontrollably as she kneeled before her unmoving husband, not touching him.

"Paul! Open your eyes, please! Paul!"

He didn't move.

"No! Paul! Open your eyes! Say something! Oh please, no, this can't be happening, it can't be!" She cried, trembling uncontrollably. She couldn't think straight, she couldn't think at all. All she could think of was Paul, her beautiful Paul, her oh so powerful Paul, possibly dying before her.

Without thinking, she quickly unbuttoned the new long-sleeve white button-up top she was wearing with a blue spaghetti-strapped top and pressed it against a deep wound in Paul's chest.

Blood quickly stained the top, soaking through it quickly.

"No… no…" she whispered, sobbing even harder. She pressed it harder against the wound, desperate to stop the bleeding. "Wake up, Paul. Please, wake up; you have to wake up Paul, please…" She touched his cheek and then withdrew her hand. It was ice cold.

"Paul! No, Paul!" She laid her head on his chest, trying to hear a heartbeat. All she could hear though was the pounding of her own heart, but she thought she could feel a soft rise and fall his chest.

Dawn remained hopeful.

There was a shrill wailing in the distance.

Had she called 911? No, it must have been someone else. She had forgotten to. Mentally, Dawn cursed herself and then thanked whoever it was who had been smart enough to call for help.

"Just hang in there, Paul," she begged, tears in her eyes. "Help is on the way. You'll be alright. Please, you just have to hang on. Don't you dare leave me, please, just hold on."

A moment later an ambulance arrived. The next minutes were a big blur as the medics pulled out a gurney and shouted orders to each other. Dawn couldn't remember the ride to the hospital; all she could remember was staring at Paul's face and praying he would be alright.

He _had_ to be alright.

He was so strong, so powerful. He was going to become Champion of Sinnoh someday. It was his destiny practically; he had worked so hard to become so powerful, so unstoppable, and it would be unfair of fate to take it all away from him and make all his hard work go to waste.

He was going to be okay.

For a moment, Dawn truly believed that….

She held his hand as he was rushed inside the hospital room, her fingers intertwined with his. Medics were still shouting orders at each other, one ordering another to call the doctor as quickly as possible, others hooking Paul up to a heart monitor and several IVs .

"Paul…" she said in a choked whisper, her eyes finally dry after crying every tear she had left in her body.

Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open, and he turned his head a few degrees to look at her. Dawn's eyes widened, and suddenly she wished his eyes were still closed.

His eyes were gray and foggy and she could see all the agony he felt in his eyes. Fresh blood was still tricking down his chin, and there was dried blood on his forehead. There was blood everywhere on him it seemed.

"Paul…!" A fresh stream of tears started to fill her eyes and trickle down her cheeks.

He was still alive!

There was a slow but steady rhythm of beeps as the heart monitor was set up.

"No need to worry…" she whispered, squeezing his hand gently. "Just stay strong." She smiled at him, hoping it looked reassuring. "I love you so much. So, so much."

As she said this his eyes slipped close.

"Excuse me Miss, but you're going to have to leave while we work on him," the doctor said as he entered.

Dawn stared at him, wide-eyed, but a nurse gently pulled her away and Paul's hand slipped from hers. As she was being led out of the room by the same nurse, the heart monitor started to drawl out a long _beeeeeeeeeeeeeep_.

"PAUL!" Dawn screamed, black blotches filling her eyesight as she whipped around.

"His heartbeat is dying, quick, we need to…" The doctor's voice was drowned out by the drawling beep of the heart monitor.

It was so bright…

"Paul!" She screamed again, her head throbbing from the intensity of her own scream and the whole situation. It took three nurses to restrain her from barging back into Paul's hospital room.

"Miss, please—"

"Paul!" she screamed again, desperate, before collapsing to her knees and sobbing her eyes out.

That long drawl, that torturing sound, it wasn't changing.

Paul… no, he couldn't be dead. He couldn't be! He wasn't dead! No! NO! _**NO!**_

"PAUL!"

It's not fair! she screamed silently, tears streaming down her face. He was supposed to defeat Cynthia! He was supposed to become the strongest trainer in Sinnoh! He was supposed to become _champion!_

A minute later, the doctor exited, a look of pity painting his features as he stared at the broken blunette who was crying uncontrollably on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but your husband…well…"

No! Don't say it, don't you dare say it!

"Your husband has passed away."

Dawn gasped, despite practically already knowing he was dead. It was just an unbelievable thought, an unbearable thought.

Paul, dead. Impossible.

Dawn laid her head on the ground, and closed her eyes.

Please let this be a nightmare… A horrible, horrible nightmare… Let me wake up now into Paul's arms, or even let me wake up to an empty bed. Just please don't let this horrible nightmare be true. Anything would be better than this.

"Dawn Berlitz, right?"

She didn't respond. She was still waiting to wake up from her nightmare – her reality.

"You are friends with the Ketchums, right?"

At this, Dawn opened her eyes.

"Ash and Misty?" she murmured. Although she couldn't see it, he nodded.

"They had their baby today. Just an hour ago, actually."

At this Dawn lifted her head. "Misty had her baby?" she whispered, her eyes wide in shock. He nodded again. Dawn just stared at him, beyond shock.

First Paul, now Misty…

To think, as one leaves this world another one enters… An unbearable pain pierced her heart at this thought, leaving her cold inside.

"May I see her?"

He was about to decline her request, prepared to explain how the new mother needed her rest, but seeing how the blunette had just lost her husband, he hesitated.

"Sure," he said, smiling sadly. "Mary, please show Dawn to their room by the nursery. And again, I give you my sincerest apologies for your loss."

Dawn just grunted, not really registering what the doctor just said. As far as she was concerned she was still dreaming, and everybody and everything was just a figment of her cruel imagination.

The same nurse from before led her down a corridor and into an elevator where they went up a few floors, her arm intertwined with Dawn's as she guided the dazed blunette to the room Misty was currently recovering in. She knocked twice.

"Miss?"

There was a silence and then a _click!_ as the door opened and Ash appeared in the doorway, wearing a tired expression but his chocolate eyes were shining with pride and joy. However, his entire demeanor changed at the sight of Dawn.

"Dawn! Oh my god, what happened to you?!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide in shock as he took in the dried blood that was smeared all over her face and the blood that stained her clothes.

The nurse looked over at the blunette and frowned at her appearance. Dawn just smiled though, her cheeks starting to hurt from the effort.

"Dawn?" Misty's voice called hoarsely from the other side.

"Can I come in?" Dawn asked, her voice soft.

Ash blinked, speechless. When he was finally able to get over his shock, he nodded, for once, speechless. Even pikachu looked speechless as he stared at Dawn.

Dawn brushed past him, feeling like a zombie as she did so. She smiled when she saw Misty and the little red-faced angel in her arms. Misty stared at her, also shocked by her appearance.

"D-Dawn?"

"Was it a girl?"

Misty nodded slowly, swallowing thickly.

"She's beautiful. What's her name?"

"D…Dahlia. Dahlia Chrysanthemum Ketchum… We decided to name her after flowers, like my sisters…" she responded, still staring at the blunette, wide-eyed. "A-are you okay, Dawn?"

Suddenly the blunette frowned, her eyebrows knitting together as she thought about everything in her life that was okay at that moment.

She smiled.

And then she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face and her whole body trembling beyond her control, but she was still smiling.

"N-no n-need… n-no… n-no ne-need…t-to…ah." She gasped, no longer smiling.

"Dawn?" Ash rushed to her side, an uncertain hand hovering over her shoulder. "What's wrong? Dawn, what is it? Did something happen?" Suddenly he was angry. "Did Paul hurt—"

"_**No!"**_ she shrieked before covering her mouth. She hadn't meant to yell… oh god, she was terrible. She was ruining Ash's and Misty's perfect day!

"I-I'm fine," she whispered.

No, no, no. It was all a bunch of lies and she knew it. Nothing was fine, nothing! _Paul was dead._ How the hell could he be dead? He was so strong, so powerful!

She remembered watching his battles against Ash, and the power that would erupt from every attack. He ordered flames to eat up the sky, and leaves that would dance sinisterly before attacking. When he ordered attacks, electricity would fill the sky in a beautiful golden wave and the earth itself had many scars in it from when the ground was torn at Paul's command. He had been like a tyrant when he was battling; ordering attacks, defeating opponents, and growing stronger with every win.

But like every other tyrant before him, he wasn't infallible…

And the sad truth was that even the man with the seemingly unbreakable persona was indeed breakable…

"Miss…" the nurse kneeled beside Dawn, placing her hands on her shoulders. "Would you—"

"He's dead," she said finally, the words a choked whisper. "He's dead. Paul's dead."

Ash's mouth fell open and a sound that was a mix between a gasp and a whimper escaped from Misty. Were Ash's eyes misting?

"Ursaring—it went berserk—I don't know why, b-but… I-I tried to warn him, but I… I was too slow. I-I didn't save him, I wasn't fast enough. He's dead_. Dead!_" She nearly shrieked this last word.

"Dawn," Ash whispered, his eyes sympathetic. "I'm so sorry."

Dawn just cried, hating herself for ruining his and Misty's perfect day, but hating herself even more for not being fast enough to save Paul….

It dawned on her then that this wasn't a dream and she wasn't about to wake up to find Paul training outside by that giant oak tree.

* * *

Dark rain clouds blanketed the sky, soft snow flakes sprinkling the ground as mourners dressed in black or dark shades exited their cars to attend the memorial service of Paul Strongman.

Dawn paused a few feet from the church where the memorial service was being held to look up into the sky.

Paul's body had been buried the day before, at the graveyard just outside Veilstone. She had been present at his burial along with Reggie and some other close family and friends of his. She had seen him right before he was buried, dressed all nice in a black tuxedo with his eyes closed and his hands folded over his stomach.

He had looked so peaceful, as if he had only been sleeping….

Dawn closed her eyes, feeling her eyes begin to swell with tears.

Quietly, she stepped into the church, her head down.

"Dawn!"

The blunette slowly turned around, feeling absolutely numb even as a pair of slender arms wrapped themselves around her.

"I'm so, so, so sorry, Dawn…" May whispered, hugging her best friend. Drew stood behind her, his hands in his pockets and his face solemn.

Dawn gasped, but nodded, struggling to blink back her tears. May pulled away from her and grabbed her hands as she looked the blunette in the eyes.

"Are you okay?"

The blunette nodded again, still blinking.

May felt so much sympathy for Dawn, who had not only lost her husband, but had also practically seen him die. She hadn't been married to Drew as long as Dawn had been to Paul, but she knew if she had lost Drew in the same way Dawn lost Paul she would feel horrible.

Dawn_ looked_ horrible.

It wasn't that Dawn was ugly; the blunette had always been pretty with her soft features, midnight blue locks and matching eyes, but now that prettiness looked haunted. Her eyes were hollow and her face was pallid, completely drained of color.

But somehow May sensed that it wasn't just Paul's death that made her look that way.

"Dawn?"

She was silent before uttering a barely audible, "Yes?"

May looked at her, her eyebrows furrowing together.

The blunette just stared back at her blankly, waiting. Drew shifted behind May and her eyes immediately flickered to him. He placed a hand on May's shoulders and Dawn's eyes watched that hand as it fell from May's shoulder to her waist.

"Dawn."

Her eyes flickered upward to meet Drew's emerald green eyes.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Paul," he told her, and her gaze fell to her feet as she nodded slowly, her lips pursed. "I didn't know him that well, but he seemed like a nice guy."

A nice guy, she repeated in her mind.

Just then Misty and Ash entered, Dahlia left at home with the care of a babysitter.

Dawn watched the two, feeling her throat tighten. She hadn't seen the two since the day Paul died, the same day Misty gave birth to Dahlia. Ash's arm was around the carrot top's waist as they approached. Their eyes were full of nothing but sympathy.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to Paul," Ash started. "I…I don't know what to tell you… I never imagined that—that Paul would actually… I mean, sure he was a jerk at times, but to actually _die_ from—" Misty jabbed Ash with her elbow, signaling for him to shut up. He did.

"We're sorry for your loss," Misty told her simply. Dawn gave a small nod.

She had already heard that statement a million times, but she still appreciated the words.

"Dawn—" May started. Dawn turned towards the brunette once more, waiting. She hesitated. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Dawn was silent, her eyes looking over May's shoulder to a purple-haired man heading their way. "No." She smiled as she blinked back more tears. "Reggie," she greeted the purple-hair man with a hug.

Reggie smiled down at his sister-in-law, returning the hug. "Hey, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine, I suppose," she whispered.

"That's good," he said. As they pulled apart, he turned to the other guests attending his brother's memorial service. "Ash, Misty, May, Drew. It's so nice to see you again; however, it's rather unfortunate that it's under these circumstances…"

They all nodded in agreement, murmuring softly.

"The memorial will begin shortly," he informed them.

"I suppose we should go take our seats then," Ash said, giving a half-hearted smile. "See ya, Dawn…"

Dawn watched as the four walked away, envying them.

Reggie sighed as he turned towards Dawn.

"Did you finish making that slideshow you said you were going to make of Paul for the viewing?" Dawn asked softly.

"I did," he confirmed. "And I've already given it to the pastor." A silence enveloped them, and Reggie sighed again. When Dawn turned towards him it looked as if he had suddenly aged a few years.

Finally, she found the courage to ask, "What pictures did you use?"

"Pictures from when he was younger, pictures from before he was a trainer. A few pictures of him when he was ten, eleven… I included at least one picture of him from every age. I also included a few pictures given to me by strangers who had taken pictures of him during a battle."

Just then a group of people entered through the church door. The seats were filling up quickly as mourners came to pay their respects. Half of these people Dawn didn't even know and Dawn doubted Paul personally knew half of those people either.

True, Paul hadn't been champion or even an _official_ member of the Elite Four, but it was believed by many residents of Veilstone that he would someday be champion or part of the Elite Four. He was a powerful man, and that was no secret. He was respected and admired by many; he had been Veilstone's pride.

"I also included most of the pictures from your wedding."

Dawn's eyes snapped open as he said this.

"You included pictures from our wedding?" she exclaimed, surprised.

Reggie also looked surprised. "Yes. Why, is there a problem with that…?" He was frowning, and he looked confused.

"No… no, of course not," she said softly, forcing a smile.

Memories of her wedding day filled her mind and she felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. Even on their wedding day Paul hadn't told her he loved her. She hadn't cared then, she hadn't even noticed really, but now the fact blared in her mind like a loud siren along with the final words Paul had said to her just minutes before his death.

"_Don't be stupid."_

Paul had never loved her.

Reggie wasn't stupid though.

He smiled at the blunette and took her hand in his, rubbing a thumb over the pearl and diamonds encrusted into her wedding ring.

"It's a beautiful ring," he said. "You know, he personalized this ring just for you. Of course, he probably spent most of his money getting it personalized, but he must have thought you were worth it."

Dawn remained quiet, letting the words sink in.

"How did he propose again? Wasn't it after the Grand Festival?"

She nodded, swallowing thickly as she closed her eyes. "After I won… He took me to the Seven Stars restaurants and then to Lake Valor…"

"Ah, and he proposed there, yes?"

She nodded.

Reggie smiled, and then glanced down at his watch. "Ah. It's almost ten. The memorial will be starting soon, so we better go take our seats."

She nodded, feeling like a ghost as she made her way over to her reserved seat in-between Reggie and Ash in the front row.

A few minutes later a pastor made his way up to the stage to stand in front of a podium and the memorial started.

"Greetings, friends, family…even strangers of this young man that goes by the name of Paul Strongman."

Dawn felt chills go up and down her body as the pastor spoke, and she fought back even more tears. He was gone. He was really gone. The pastor spoke for probably not even ten minutes, yet to Dawn it felt like hours.

"Before we go on to the viewing, is there anything anybody would like to say? A speech, perhaps, concerning this young man?"

Reggie was the only one to stand.

"Well, come on up. Let's hear it," the pastor grunted.

Slowly, Reggie made his way up the stage and stood in front of the podium.

"Hello."

The room remained quiet and Reggie cleared his throat.

"As some of you may know, or may have guessed, I am Paul's older brother. Now my brother had his flaws. He could be brutal at times, and he had a cruel streak. However, he was a passionate and ambitious young man who most certainly did not deserve to die at such a young age. He was filled with a promise that was snatched away in what was the blink of an eye. However, despite his condition now, I know he will not be forgotten.

"Although he may have not gotten the chance to fulfill his ambition of becoming Champion, he did get the chance to do many other purposeful things in his life. Such as defeat Pyramid King Brandon, a goal he had since the age of ten and a goal he fulfilled at the age of sixteen. He also made many friends and rivals along his life journey, and competed in numerous tournaments and leagues."

Images filled Dawn's mind as Reggie spoke, images from his battle against Brandon, images of the friends/rivals he made, and images from when he was in the Sinnoh League, back when he was only eleven.

"_That was Reggie you were talking to. So is he coming here today?"_

"_So how is HE doing?"_

"_Uh, you mean, how is Ash?"_

_He didn't respond._

"_Wait! If you ask a question, don't you want to hear the answer?"_

_They walked out together._

"_Ash is doing some last-minute training with his pokémon. Want me to get him?"_

"_Please don't. No need."_

"_Why did you ask about him then?"_

"_I-I don't know."_

"_Oh great!"_

"_I just don't like him."_

"_Huh?" She didn't understand._

_But he __**made**__ her understand._

"_He talks just like my brother. Friends, trust, my brother says those things all the time too."_

"_But Paul, Ash isn't Reggie. Ash is Ash, and that's that."_

"_Look, Ash is like any other trainer I would have to battle in the quarter finals, and I'm going to have to beat him if I want to win the Sinnoh League."_

"But perhaps his greatest accomplishment was his marriage to a girl he loved dearly. At the young age of nineteen my dear younger brother was given the opportunity to marry the love of his life, Dawn Berlitz."

Dawn's eyes widened as she heard her name and she felt a tear escape from her eyes. Quickly, she brushed it away.

"Now, unless anyone else wants to give a speech about my brother, let's move on to the slideshow."

Dawn remained quiet, her lips pursed. The large screen not even twenty feet from her was beginning to show images of Paul. Meanwhile, Reggie's words echoed in her mind, mingling with Paul's final words to her before his death.

"_Do you even love me? At all?"_

"_Don't be stupid."_

"_But perhaps his greatest accomplish was his marriage to a girl he loved dearly."_

The first pictures shown were the pictures taken from when he was an infant. Dawn couldn't help but smile at the red-faced infant with familiar lavender fuzz on his head and onyx-colored eyes.

The next few pictures were of him and his brother. Reggie holding him as a newborn, Reggie pushing him on a tricycle, Reggie with his arm resting on Paul's shoulder as he grinned at the camera while Paul simply smirked, his eyes closed. The last picture of the two brothers was a picture of them from hers and Paul's wedding… They were both dressed in black tuxes but Paul had a bright yellow boutonnière pinned to the top of his jacket. Reggie was smiling and had an arm around Paul, looking sincerely happy for his brother, while Paul, surprisingly, was actually looking straight into the camera and…smiling.

It was the first picture she had seen of him above the age of ten smiling. Not smirking, not scowling, not staring blankly into the camera, but actually _smiling._

The next few pictures were obviously the ones given to Reggie from locals and strangers who had been Paul's paparazzi during his battles. The snapshots were amazing, flames lighting up Paul's face and electricity crackling the air as he ordered attacks. In most of the pictures he was just watching his and his opponent's attacks collide with a cold, calculating look on his face, his arms folded across his chest. There was something about the way he stood, the way he watched the battle, that reminded Dawn of a tyrant commanding his armies.

Watching from the sidelines, watching as electricity and fire ravaged the battlefield at his command, admiring the power he possessed while calculating a strategy that would be in infallible.

But like all other tyrants before him, he wasn't infallible, and he fell…

Dawn shook her head, blinking back tears.

The next twenty or so pictures were of Paul and his "friends", all of which were also rivals of his. This included about fifteen shots of him and Ash. Pictures of Ash hanging drunkenly off a scowling Paul, pictures of them from Paul's bachelor party (all of which Paul was scowling in), pictures from Ash's bachelor party (he was also scowling in all of them), and pictures of them battling together.

Suddenly the current song that was playing was interrupted and a new song came on. A song Dawn recognized instantly.

"_Paul—"_

"_Not now Dawn."_

The image transitioned into a picture of Paul in a black tux, his hands in his pockets. He had an indifferent look on his face while Reggie, Ash, and Barry—dressed in similar black tuxes—were grinning.

"_Paul, I'm not feeling so good…"_

"_I'm not feeling so well right now. I would like to go home…"_

"_Jus__t lie down on the couch. You'll feel better__."_

Did he ever care about her?

The next picture was pretty much the same as the last one. Reggie, Ash, and Barry were grinning but Paul wasn't. He was staring into the distance, a faraway look in his eyes.

"_Do you even love me? At all?"_

"_Don't be stupid."_

Don't be stupid… of course not.

Of course he didn't love her…

The next picture was of Paul waiting at the altar, looking as indifferent as he had in the other two pictures. There he was looking all indifferent, meanwhile at that very same moment she had probably been in the dressing room, freaking out and nearly crying from how happy she was.

Of course he didn't love her… After all, he was Paul. Cold and indifferent. It was one of the reasons she loved him. It was one of the reasons she had married him. Because his coldness and his tendency to be indifferent made him different, and she had liked that about him.

She still did…

Finally, a tear slipped from her eye and rolled down one cheek.

Dawn felt eyes turn to her as the next picture came on screen.

"Dawn… you looked so beautiful on your wedding day," Misty whispered, smiling at her.

Dawn smiled, feeling more tears slip from her eyes.

If only Paul thought the same—

"And look at the way Paul's staring at her," Ash said. "Mrrreow! I'm glad that if someone had to melt his icy heart, it was you, Dawn."

"What?" she breathed, confused.

She looked up at the screen again.

"He did love you, Dawn…" Reggie whispered from next to her.

"_You know he personalized __this ring, just for you. Of course, he probably spent most of his money getting it personalized, but obviously he must have thought you were worth it."_

The picture started to fade as a new picture came on screen. Dawn's hands clenched together in her lap and her throat suddenly felt dry.

"Don't be stupid…" she whispered.

The next picture came on and with new eyes, Dawn started to see what everyone else was seeing.

There was a warmth in his eyes that she hadn't been there before, just the tiniest of flames lighting up his dark eyes as he slipped the wedding ring on her finger.

The next picture was their kiss, and Dawn's heart almost broke at the sight of it. Unconsciously, she touched her lips, remembering the feel of his lips softly brushing hers before gently pressing against them. Her eyes fluttered close as she remembered the feel of one hand cupping her cheek while his thumb stroked her cheekbone. For a moment, it was as if she was at her wedding again, reliving that very moment.

When Dawn opened her eyes, she was staring at a new picture.

Their first dance together as husband and wife…

It was funny how Reggie had chosen to play the same song they had danced to during this part of the slide show. Tears started to fill her eyes and dribble down her cheeks and she couldn't have stopped the tears even if she tried.

Bastard. Making a widow cry…

The next picture came on screen. In this one Paul had his hands in his pockets while she hung onto his arm, grinning broadly. He was staring at her, appearing indifferent.

As the years dragged on after their marriage, and their other friends started to get married, she started to remember hers and Paul's wedding day differently. Every time she remembered their wedding, one facial expression would plague her memories.

It was a blank look, an indifferent look that suggested to anyone who saw it that the person who was wearing the expression was bored and-or did not care for the situation. A look that completely contrasted with the idea of how one would feel on the day of their wedding when they had just married the love of their life.

It was that facial expression that plagued her memories of her wedding day, and the weddings of her friends and their relationships that were so different from hers and Paul's, had caused her to start doubting her relationship with Paul and the way their marriage functioned.

She thought someone always had to be smiling and grinning broadly around someone they loved. She thought someone had to be lovey-dovey with the one they loved if they truly loved the person.

She thought wrong.

At first glance, his expression appeared to be the same indifferent expression of his that had previously plagued the memories of her wedding day, but open closer inspection, Dawn realized it was not the same look.

The slightest of smiles graced Paul's lips, and the same warmth from the previous five pictures remained burning in his eyes like the tiniest of flames. It was like a ray of light in a pitch-black cave, a lone star shining at midnight, a single candle burning in the dark.

The next picture was similar, except this time she was blowing bubbles at the camera and Paul's smile was actually more of a smirk.

"_Don't be stupid."_

If he didn't love me, then why did he marry me?

People don't marry people they don't love. Maybe they did in the 1800s when some marriages were arranged for business and money purposes, but certainly most marriages nowadays were based on true love?

Besides, Paul had no reason to marry her. She wasn't extremely wealthy, and sure, she was a top coordinator, but he was a man with the strength of the Elite Four and the potential to be Champion of Sinnoh. So what good would it do him to have a wife who had won only one Grand Festival at the time of their marriage? Yeah, she was really pretty with her silky dark blue tresses and matching blue eyes and her good figure, but he could have easily married or dated someone just as pretty, if not prettier, easily. After all, he was strong, handsome, intriguing…a girl's dream guy almost. So what other reason would he have to propose to her?

Unless…

Dawn's hands clenched and she started to tremble as she saw the next picture, one of her embracing Paul.

In the picture he had one arm wrapped around her shoulders and was staring her with a strange look in his eyes. A smile she never even knew he was capable of making was painted delicately across his features. He was smiling. It was a small smile, a very small smile, but with that strange emotion reflected in his eyes, he looked so tranquil, so unreal. It was as if he wasn't Paul – it was as if he was a Roman god of some kind painted by the most insightful of artists. No, that couldn't be Paul looking at her in that way. That couldn't be Paul who looked so happy, who looked so at peace with the world.

_But why?_ The question crept into Dawn's mind, leaving her with a single teardrop spilling from her midnight blue eyes. Why _couldn't_ that be Paul who was happy…?

The picture transitioned into the next one and suddenly he was Paul again. The Paul she knew. The Paul who showed little emotions. The same fierce, ambitious, cold Paul she had met and fell in love with. In this picture he was scowling at Ash who had cake smeared all over his face while Dawn was laughing, her cheeks a rosy pink.

Same old Paul.

Cold, brutal, indifferent, strong, ambitious, independent _Paul_.

_Her husband._

She missed him so, so, _so_ much.

Suddenly, tears spilled like a great waterfall as the rest of the clips flashed before her eyes, her heart heavy as memories flooded through her.

I can't believe he's really gone… she thought as she walked out of the church and into a cold, cold Paul-free world.

* * *

**December 18, 2010**

Dawn took a deep breath as she clutched the daffodils in her hands. She was trembling as she stopped in front of the black gate that was becoming entangled with overgrown weeds.

The Veilstone Cemetery…

Dawn stared at the front of the cemetery for the longest time, immobilized just by the cold, sad atmosphere it produced.

Paul is here, she thought.

Paul, her husband. The husband who had loved her enough to marry her.

He never did like showing his feelings, especially after his battle with Brandon in Snowpoint. Of course he would try to hide his feelings for her too.

At least, that is what Dawn wanted to believe.

And it _was_ what she believed.

"Paul…"

The wind picked up and a low whistle sounded throughout the cemetery.

Suppressing a shiver, Dawn took another deep breath and walked into the graveyard, determination and yearning guiding her to Paul's tombstone.

She smiled nervously as she stood in front of his still-fresh grave.

"H-hey, Paul…"

* * *

**So yeah, I decided to end this story right where the sequel to this, ****Ashes in the Snow****, started. There are a few um, I guess differences between this one and the sequel, like the age they got married and when he dies (I think?) and probably a few other things but I plan on fixing those things so they correspond with this story when I get the time to. :/**

**Honestly, I really kind of like the way this turned out. (: Or at least I like the way I portrayed Paul. I feel as if I actually succeeded in making him in-character for once! :O (well, asides from the lovey-dovey-ish parts with Dawn, but c'mon, we've never seen Paul or in fact ANY character from pokémon [you know, asides from Brock and a few one-time characters] in **_**love-love**_** with somebody [I say love-love, because I'm not just talking about crushes]), so of course I just have to infer on how Paul (and Dawn and everybody else I made so madly in love in this story) would act when they're in love. **

**Meanwhile, the title of this story can refer to both Dawn's and Paul's relationship and um,… what happened to… Paul. *saddestsceneIeverhadtowrite* Plus it kinda relates to the sequel's titles (you know, since after a fire dies, all that's left are ashes…)**

**Well, bleh, I'm rambling. Ummm well anyway gimme your thoughts on this story!**

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated! And lemme know if you find any mistakes (I corrected this like probably ten times, but knowing me, there's still gonna be mistakes /: ), or if you thought Paul (or anybody else) was too OOC or anything else!**

**(Also, just a random fact, I haven't uploaded a story since October 2010. That has GOT to be the longest I've gone without publishing a story on here! 8D)**


End file.
